Breath in the Pages
by profiler120
Summary: Even purified the shikon no tama contains the souls of demons - so it was no great surprise to Kagome when her work comes undone. [SessKag][One-shot being continued] -More chapters later.
1. Breath in the Pages

Breath in the Pages

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com

Rating: PG 

Pairing: Sess/Kag

Author's Notes: Interestingly enough this story was inspired by Card Captor Sakura and Genma Onimusha for the X Box but don't ask how, I'm not quite sure. This was originally intended to be a Sess/Kag romance, but I've decided to discard that idea. 

As of today - May 19, 2003 - "Blind Stitch... 9" is almost done. I had a long talk with my brother over some plot issues, since he is very helpful and I had to go back and revise a bit. Or... a lot. Still, things look good. 

  
I'm actually spending more time on "Prisoner, My Prisoner," and working on Chapter 4 right now. I might post a chapter of that later, still needs edited. 

* * *

"Guilt is the source of sorrows, the avenging fiend that follows us behind with whips and stings." -- Nicholas Rowe

* * *

Kagome turned her gaze to the book upon her shelf guiltily once more. Each morning when she rose she looked at it and each evening she silently apologized to it. 

It was her fault. It was all her fault, it always was. 

She was the singular reason the beautiful, ornate, antique book held such a dark secret. She was the reason everything that had happened during that climatic day had gone wrong. If she had only listened... 

No, if she had listened things wouldn't have ended up much differently. She had gone because she was convinced she could help against Naraku but she'd only ended up being a distraction. An unhelpful distraction that had cost - no, she wouldn't think of it.

In the end, Naraku had been extinguished, Kohaku had died, Miroku had been freed of his curse, and the Shikon no tama had returned to her body.

It was Inuyasha's fate that had proved to be unchangeable. He had still gone with Kikyo to hell and for a while, she'd been heartbroken over it. For a while it had hurt like nothing else. For a while, she had been consumed and wallowed in what she viewed to be her own lack of worth. But it had passed. Eventually.

Even stranger still was what had transpired one evening as she returned from archery club. __

She had just returned home and was heading up to change clothes when just inside, by the window, she viewed a strange figure. She had stepped inside fully, the door already closed and the figure turned away but it seemed so familiar to her.

The figure turned, and Kagome could not hold in the gasp. Feelings she thought had gone from her were renewed with a vengeance, heartbreak, anger, and sadness. There, by her window stood the reason why so many things had gone wrong. There, the only other person to cause as much trouble as herself. There, stood Kikyo.

"Kikyo," she couldn't contain the name in her mouth, it slipped out. 

She was not happy to see her incarnate, not the least. Off handedly she wondered if Kikyo had felt the way she felt now as she stared into the eyes of a person that shouldn't exist in this time. Kikyo however didn't say anything immediately but held out her hands and in them, the book appeared.

The book she had seen fall. The book she had seen torn asunder on the battlefield by a wayward strike of the Tetsusaiga. The book she had watched, in horror, bleed. She recoiled, afraid of the book, afraid of its ghastly implications.

"It's your responsibility now." 

Her voice was low, commanding as though telling her in no uncertain terms she refused to be shamed by her reincarnation. Kagome looked up and met her gaze, but the hatred she'd seen in the almond orbs so many times, was gone. Death, it seemed, had finally quelled her hatred and returned the priestess to her former self.

Kagome returned her gaze to the aged book, sighed, and reached for it. Kikyo's ghostly fingers were untouchable and only the solid feel of the book pressed against her hands as she took it. She stared pensively at it, remembering, thinking, and pondering... This book was... 

She looked up to see if Kikyo remained and the priestess' image was still lingering before her. 

Kikyo. The woman Inuyasha had loved more than her. Somehow it was hard to get beyond that tiny little fact and suppress the bitterness that came with it.

"Your destiny lies ahead of you, not behind." 

Even in death she was still the perfect, stately miko with words of wisdom and lack of smiles. Her image faded from sight and in her hands was something she had never wanted to see again. Something, for the life of her she'd been trying to forget.

That had been months ago. For months the book had sat upon her shelf and aged further. It had done nothing but silently mock and taunt her. It's delicate hard cover collecting dust. 0ne would never guess that inside that hard covered book lies an ancient, rolled scroll. A scroll that housed a very dangerous entity, something, that if released could conceivably be catastrophic. She didn't dare think of it, and stood rather brushing her hair.

"Kagome!" 

Realizing how late she was running, she quickly finished her task, grabbed her schoolbooks, and headed out. She was going to be tardy her first day! 

* * *

She was still brooding over it several days later. Now the book sat on her desk, spread over her math book preventing her from her homework. It was her fault, she, and Kikyo and he had been innocently - 

She turned her gaze down toward it, before flipping the lid open to view the contents of the hallowed space within. The scroll was tightly wound and tied with a length of vibrant red ribbon. 

__

She had been clutching Rin close to her to prevent harm from coming to the girl. She hadn't anticipated Kikyo arriving. She certainly hadn't expected to view the full force of Kikyo's legendary miko powers. She had only known that one moment she was watching the battle the next she was only too aware of a blast of dark miko energy barreling toward her. She had, instinctively, thrown Rin behind her, but the blast she expected had never come. In front of her she watched as Sesshoumaru was struck with the bolt of fuchsia colored energy and watched in horror, as the light grew too bright to continue staring onward. It faded momentarily and in his place a strange book had hovered.   
The battle around them continued and a stray band of devastating energy from the Tetsusaiga ripped forward tearing into the enchanted book. She vaguely heard Rin scream behind her as blood spurted in every direction. She could still feel the warmth as droplets landed against her cheeks, falling like tears. Sesshoumaru... 

Rin was inconsolable. And it was all because of her. 

She wasn't sure how the book had been repaired or even for that matter whether Sesshoumaru still lived within it. Evidence suggested he did however as she could sense a weak youki surrounding it. She reached for the scroll apprehensively.

Her grandfather had sensed the youki some weeks before and had tracked it to her room and attempted to purify it or seal it with wards. He had been unpleasantly surprised by the strength of the seal that guarded the book. He had spent two days in bed thereafter after the youki surrounding it had unexpectedly gathered and shot up through his fingertips. She was justifiably nervous.

She reached toward the scroll, awaiting the shock of pain but none came as her fingers closed around the delicate paper roll. With more confidence she reached toward the silken ribbon and pulled and watched as it unwound itself. She unloosed it from around the paper and, moving to the floor, sat it down and began to unroll it. 

She grabbed her math book, placing it on one side and then placed a rather heavy bottle of powder on the other side as she unrolled its complete length. There were but a few words across it, some in black ink while other kanji blazed in red. 

"Seal the winged spirit of life. 

Age be but a number - 

Life be but a memory - 

Time be but a word - 

For none shall touch upon you." 

Kagome stared at the words and wondered if there was any way to ever undo what had been done. Kikyo had declared it was now her responsibility but she didn't know how to fix this. What could she possibly do? 

She thought of him so often. He had become a fixture in her life. An unpleasant fixture. A source of endless guilt and sorrow that ate away a little bit more as each day passed. Some days she could barely drag herself from her bed. He was suffering because of her. 

All his ill deeds passed out of memory and only her ill actions remained. She had imprisoned Sesshoumaru, albeit indirectly. She had left Rin, crying and desolate, near screaming for Sesshoumaru. She had left the Western Lands open, without their master and Jaken without someone to serve. Because of her. 

He was trapped, stuck with her, in her time, inside this scroll, perhaps... Perhaps wherever this spell had taken him was unrecoverable. Perhaps this damaged scroll was the equivalent of Miroku's cursed hand. A vacuum with no conceivable end, a complete, scary mystery. 

It only increased the guilt. It only weighed that much more heavily upon her. Tears brimmed in her eyes and spattered onto the ancient ink, one droplet and then another. Two small, perfect circlets now stained the tattered page of Sesshoumaru's prison. Two small spatters that were quickly soaking into the paper causing the ink to run, if only a bit. 

She was too distraught to notice the damage she was wreaking over the scroll. The damage that could prove to be the final lock in sealing him permanently inside that prison where he was, where he barely clung to life, if that was so. If her own conscience was right. He haunted her, day and night. In her dreams, while she ate, while she listened to her teacher speak, everywhere, he was there with her. His face, his voice, and her memory of him - she couldn't escape him and it was nearly driving her insane with grief. 

Sometimes she woke at night, his name upon her lips. 

She quickly rolled the scroll back up once more, tying the ribbon about it. She would get back to it, now... she needed a breath of fresh air. A moment away from her mind if that could be obtained.

She delicately placed it back in its box and slid the book underneath her desk, hoping maybe she'd forget about it as a new wave of guilt rushed over her. Forget. How could she? 

* * *

One day merged with the next creating a virtually seamless oblivion in which she was helplessly trapped. She sat now at the dining table but her mind was with him again. She was far beyond the point of obsession; it was almost a physical need, to free him of that prison. How could one become enslaved by their emotions? And yet she had. She stood, leaving her tea at the table. The kitchen was vacant except for her, the house was empty, and she was alone in her torturous solitude. 

She quickly scaled the stairs and fetched the book from under her pillow. It was one of several places she'd kept it recently. It had also slumbered in her desk drawer, beneath her bed, underneath the bathroom sink down the hall and once in the courtyard below her window when she'd lost her temper and tossed it outside. It had hardly spent an hour outside before she, in the dark of night, had gone searching for it. 

Just recently she had been clutching at it while alone. Last night it had slumbered beneath her pillow when on previous occasions she had grasped it to her like a prized plushy. The discomfort of such was lost on her however, she was driven. The book seemed to cast it's own spell on her given her one-track mind these days, continually doting on it. If it were a breathing creature she would have been its servant, lower than Jaken had ever been striving to meet it's every whim and fancy.

The cover of the book was absent of words, only a delicately painted scene ordained it's cover, the back was the same. It was inside that held it's treasure, it's precious cargo, it's inmate. 

She lifted its cover and quickly undid the ribbon as she had many times since that first time a week ago. She spread her hands across the paper, no longer concerned with the delicacy of the ink staring at the ink smudged kanji. It was still very recognizable and readable. She was shackled, as bound to this scroll of paper as Sesshoumaru was within it, or wherever he was. 

She stared at it, her mind wandering as it did many days like this one. She ended up laying the unrolled scroll upon her empty desk, pinning down the rolled edges leaving it open, exposed to anyone's view should they come in. She moved back to her bed, laying down, feeling the pull of sleep upon her. She was near exhausted, how long had it been? How long had she been trapped under her own conscience?

Her thoughts drifted away as the veil of sleep descended over her. 

She woke with a groan at the persistent rustling sound. As she drifted toward consciousness the sound became clearer and her eyes fluttered open, her head lulling to the side. She watched the hunched figure of her brother as he toiled away at something on her desk, wondering what it might be before she realized what she'd left upon that desk and shot from her bed.

"What are you doing in my room?" she demanded almost shoving him away.

She took one look at the sight and almost fainted, the gasp torn from her mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It was an accident," he pleaded, clearly distraught over the 'accident'. "I'll make it up to you... I promise!" he exclaimed before quickly leaving her alone in the room. 

There, upon her desk sat her bottle of black ink, its lid half cocked to the side twisted carelessly laying beside the wet tipped bamboo brush. It was her scroll, his scroll, Sesshoumaru's. She could see the clear path the ink had taken as it had very clearly been tipped over. 

The kanji on the page were gone, completely unrecoverable underneath the thick layer of black ink that had spilled over them, obscuring the message. A sob tore from her throat and her knees suddenly gave out from beneath her. She fell into a sobbing heap on the floor. Now things were truly her fault. If she hadn't left it on the desk - 

It was another set of sounds that drew her from her weeping. It was crackling, almost the sound of fire. She raised her tortured eyes gasping in fright as she viewed a blue flame engulfing the scroll almost spraining her neck as she whirled around to see if the book too was burning. It was- 

She leapt to her feet and attempted vainly to put out the abnormal blaze but it was resistant. Not only was the color an anomaly it was cold to the touch and in mere moments the tattered scroll was nothing more than a thin layer of silver ash upon her desktop. 

"No! Sesshoumaru!" She cried. 

She failed to notice when it was her own body that began to glow and shimmer. Or even the strange warmth that suddenly enveloped her. She was only brought back to reality when the heavy burden of a body was suddenly and forcefully fallen upon her, causing her to collapse under its superior weight.

A screen of silver hair was splayed across her face and she could feel the fine points of something metallic pressing against her skin. She heard a deep intake of breath and then a low, painful groan as the figure currently weighing her down dragged itself up slowly, just enough to put several inches between them. 

A startled gasp of delight sprang from her when she met the familiar gold eyes of the Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru. She threw her arms up around his neck pulling herself against him ignoring the uncomfortable jarring from his armor. 

"I'm so happy you're okay!" She exclaimed, feeling his entire body become tense against her. 

He growled and she released him and he staggered off of her but was very clearly injured. Tears welled in her eyes as she sat there, staring at him staring at her, a smile adorning her lips. 

"I'm so happy you're okay!" she repeated. "I've been so worried..." 

His confusion was evident, as was his displeasure. 

"Where am I?" he growled. 

"It's hard to explain ... but I'll give it my best." She started in on the story beginning with the battle winding her way up to the present moment. 

He sat stone faced through it all bearing the news quietly, patiently, but he in no way looked happy about it.

He didn't interrupt or accuse her of lying or trickery. She almost crumbled at his feet begging for forgiveness and her genuine repentance seemed to quell his hostility for the moment. 

His movements were slow and obviously pained. She was on her feet in a moment attempting to help but he brushed her aside, but she refused to be put off and returned obstinately to him.

"Sesshoumaru please..." 

She knelt before him, eyes shimmering with more tears, a broken pleading tone. 

"Please let me help..." 

"Fine," he snapped. "But step away, miko, you are too close."

* * *

A new world was what it was. He could hardly believe the sights, the scents, the tastes - the world his brother's woman came from was truly wondrous. Humans had advanced so much it was truly admirable, but the decline of his own species was disturbingly real. That his own, superior race, could dwindle and die while humans in their pitiful inferiority could advance and to such heights of amazement. He had seen just yesterday an up close picture of the moon and learned so many things it was beyond even his comprehension.

He turned curious eyes toward his young host. The girl had been upon him almost constantly since the moment he'd been reawakened from his slumber. He hadn't spent all of his imprisonment sleeping but a good portion of it was lost to memory.

It was almost unbelievable her incarnation had cast a sleeping spell upon him. 

With things they way they were it would seem the girl and not he had been the one suffering under a spell. He had merely slept while the girl toiled. Her distress was plain enough upon her face, as was her grief, her guilt for his situation. He felt no particular loss over it, it was gone, and he could do nothing about it now. She reminded him of Rin every now and again however. It was even worse; when he'd asked about Rin - the look upon the girl's face had made him sorry he'd even breathed his young ward's name. 

She had apologized so much he tired of the words and longed never to hear them again. He felt at peace, there was no hostility to be had in him toward her; perhaps her suffering over him had been punishment enough. Even now she labored to give him anything he needed, if he but breathed a word - even a hint of a word, she was upon it and he was finding as time passed, it was becoming bothersome. 

At first it had been incredibly desirous, his brother's wench scampering to serve him but now it merely annoyed him. He liked it even less when she looked up at him with those stricken eyes, pleading for his forgiveness. Conversation between them had been scant really, she spoke of the past, and he merely listened when she was inclined to speak. 

Her family had accepted his company with little difficulty and he watched their daily routines each day with interest. Even the human food of this time period was enjoyable. Despite the comfort of his surroundings, he longed for his own home, for the Western Lands and the Western castle where his heritage remained. He longed to see Rin and to alleviate her distress. 

"Tea."

He thought momentarily she hadn't heard before she was up and out of the room leaving him alone. Saddening truly, he even missed Jaken. Jaken never looked at him the way the girl did. He never had to meet such heartbreaking eyes. Rin had made him softer than he realized, but he was not sorry for it. He was not unhappy that he longed to soothe her sorrows as he did for Rin. Even though this girl would be much harder to please than Rin and he had no experience comforting humans.

She returned some minutes later, kneeling beside the low table where he sat setting out the tea set she'd brought to him preparing to pour for him. He reached forward, stopping her hands. 

Perhaps it was his physical weakness that had caused this emotional upheaval he seemed to be experiencing. She had explained how the book had been wrought apart and bled and he feared it was this event that had caused his un-healing wounds. The bloodless, un-healing tears in his flesh that pained him every day causing the loss of his demon speed and the effectiveness of many of his abilities to this weak crippling struggle for movement.

She cast her wide, fearful eyes up at him once more. He latched his fingers gently around her wrist hoping to convey his silent wish for no more sadness. He had the sinking; despairing suspicion the message had not been received as she continued to stare, a hint of a blush coloring her cheeks. Well, that at least, was new. 

He released her and allowed her to continue her task. 

* * *

The rain pattered against the windows and the wind howled as the storm passed far overhead. Kagome stared out into the gray colored skies; school was over for the day. The debilitated youkai was sitting behind her probably staring off into space. Since Sesshoumaru had been revived from the book his attitude had been withdrawn and occasionally irritable. 

Most of the time he preferred to sit alone in an upstairs room, usually hers. Normally she would have been upset with the prospect of someone else hanging out in her room but somehow because it was Sesshoumaru, it didn't matter so much. 

He was tinkering with a jigsaw puzzle, she realized turning to view him. She had received the puzzle for her birthday the previous year. It was a panda shaped puzzle and he had nearly completed the entire outline. She suspected he liked the puzzle as an excuse to sit and brood without being pestered. 

He raised his gaze, meeting her eyes and she felt her heart soften once more. Even though he would likely despise this weakness, he looked vulnerable. His eyes were sad, the shields that typically guarded them, broken. The youkai prince was a wreck and all by the hand of a human.

She felt the words forming more than she thought about them. He however anticipated her comment and quickly cut her off.

"Do not apologize, miko."

She quieted, the comment, the phrase, the apology died on her lips. He held her stare a few more moments before breaking it off and staring back down at the puzzles pieces scattered on the table, but he made no move to switch or fit any of the pieces. From her observation he never moved unless the pieces fit. He traced each piece and matched them on the tabletop with his eyes long before he pained himself with the physical movement of connecting them. It was truly a feat then that most of the outline was complete.

She came and sat down across from him, staring over his puzzle progress.

"Do you need anything?"

Her answer was silence, his typical negative answer. She frowned. She longed to ease his obvious pain, the daily discomfort she could see etched into the hidden lines of his face.

It was hard to explain how much her views had changed. She had never hated Sesshoumaru, but granted he hadn't been one of her favorite people. She hadn't felt before like she felt now. She wanted to grab her brush and comb through his luxurious silver locks if only to relax him or sate her own curiosity about it's texture. She wanted to comfort him, to have him lean against her and simply allow her to be there for him. He wouldn't and she couldn't do anything about it.

"Stop it," he warned.

"Stop what?" 

"Staring at me as though I'm lower than those bawling human babes." 

"But-"

"I don't need you hovering over me all the time!" 

She stood wordlessly. The comment stung, she wanted to get away. Before she did something stupid like crying or trying to hug him or something. He had his pride, she understood, but she only wanted to help. There was no one. No one who wanted to be there for him more than her and he just wouldn't allow it. 

She wasn't sure where she was going but she had to be somewhere else. She had released Sesshoumaru - she shouldn't still be feeling this way. She wandered into the kitchen and plopped lifelessly into a chair while her mother moved about humming.

"Anything wrong, Kagome?"

"No," she mumbled before standing abruptly. "I'm going out," she declared.

"It's storming outside." 

She turned back and faced her mother's concerned stare. "I just need to go out for a little while, I won't be gone long, and it's only raining a bit."  
Something in her gaze must have given her mother an inkling and she nodded. "Try to be back before dinner, okay?"

She smiled, her mother always understood. "I will, thanks."

She grabbed her coat, slipped on her shoes, and was out the door into the storm. Okay, so it was more than a little rain, but she had her pride too. She walked ahead even as the wind pelted her with the large water droplets, stinging occasionally as the wind gusted. She was thoroughly wet by the time she collapsed back against a sturdy tree in a nearby park. The tree with the large sweeping canopy over her head provided little protection against the battering elements. 

She wanted to go home. Being out in this storm was lousy, and she direly regretted it. She closed her eyes, leaning back against the tree. She was just about to swallow her pride and head back to the house and seek refuge in her room when suddenly the rain ceased its barrage against her. She opened wide, startled eyes to view the object or person it now appeared protected her from the storm. She blinked in surprise.

"Houjo-kun?" 

"It's not really a good time to be outside Higurashi, you'll get sick again."

She smiled warmly at his concerned tone and launched herself forward against him. Although startled, he folded her into his embrace.

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

She nodded against the wet cloth of his coat but didn't say anything. Of course, let it be Houjo that rescued her, but at the moment, she didn't care. Someone was there to pick her up when she felt like falling. So what if it was Houjo, he was possibly the nicest boy she'd ever met. She turned her head up to him and smiled once more.

"It's really good to see you Houjo-kun." She stated. "Why are you out in the storm?"

"I was on my way home, my mother needed a few things." He motioned to the grocery bag draping at his wrist. 

"Oh," she stepped away. "I'm sorry, please don't let me keep you. I don't want to hold up dinner, besides you're getting all wet." 

He chuckled. "I was getting wet anyway, don't worry about it. You want me to walk you home?" 

She looked up, her smile fading. "I don't..." she looked away. " ... want to go home right now." 

* * *

The rain felt surprisingly nice, reminding him exactly why he missed home. Patrolling his territories just him, his servant, Rin, and the endless wilderness. It was something he couldn't quite get over, his desperate feeling of ... what had the girl called it... 'homesickness'? He sighed leaning heavily back against the old tree. Stupid girl, why'd she have to leave the house in a huff anyway?

Seeing as he was very clearly the source of her distress he could hardly allow the weakling to wander out into a raging storm and all because she didn't want to cry in front of him. He had no doubt it was something inconsequential, she was always doing pointless little things like that. He turned his golden gaze across the swath of sopping lawn that separated them, watching as she embraced the human male that had approached her. Did she always behave this way with strangers? 

He moved around the tree coming closer into his audible range so he could tune into their conversation. He approached the next closest tree and sank back against it, exhaling heavily. 

"I don't... want to go home right now." 

He felt his frown deepen. She didn't even want to see him, not even to be in the same house with him. He felt his lead lower a notch, and after all the pain he'd dragged himself through coming out here to make sure _she _was all right. He straightened, pain shooting up his left arm, the only arm he had left, he thought bitterly. 

He turned his gaze to her again, at having heard nothing. She was standing apart from him now, looking away from him, the male she was standing with. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home, Higurashi?"

Her attention was clearly elsewhere but after a moment she responded. "N-no, I'm okay. I just remembered something," she said with a thoughtful look. "I'll see you later okay, Houjo-kun?"

Although hesitant, he left, walking off into the rainy afternoon. He watched her watch him before she turned around and her gaze flew straight in his direction. He was certain she couldn't see him from where he was standing and yet with the certainty of her gaze he might have doubted that. Casting even more uncertainty upon such a claim she began walking toward him, eyes directly in front of her as she passed over the soggy grass. 

Around one tree and then another - and then she was in front of him, staring up with misty eyes.

"You shouldn't be out. Someone might see you."

He stared down at her, the rain still battering them. He was in pain because of this girl. He was separated from his home, his companions, and his rightful place because of something attached to this girl. Yet he was living because of this girl. He was standing, instead of being held captive all because of this girl.

She was the lone, solitary figure that cared about him. That worried over each and every hiss of pain that dared to escape his lips, and scurried to make sure he wanted for nothing. She went out of her way to care for him, tending to everything and anything he needed. Yet he couldn't help the bitterness he felt for her, even while his conscience whispered he was being ungrateful. 

Told him that he was in debt to her for taking care of him, for worrying about him... for caring at all about him when he had tried to kill her so many times before. He was, in reality, quite lucky that he had fallen into her hands and not someone else's lest he would have been destroyed without a second thought. How many people, how many _humans_ would not jump at the opportunity to slay the Lord of the Western lands? 

"Foolish girl." 

One would think she might be more considerate. He had come all the way out here for her. He ached because of her, because he had worried for her out here in this weather. Worried because it had been him that caused her to flee into it. Even as he stood there he felt his strength weakening, his legs were going to give out on him and moments later they did. He fell onto her, his one arm looped around her tightly as he slumped down onto his knees. 

He tightened his grip, crushing her to him, despite his aches. He didn't want her but he needed her as much as he hated the thought. He needed the weak human girl. This weak bundle of a female that guarded within her such a fierce, dangerous power. 

The water was soaking his knees and up his pant legs now. Her arms looped around him, tightening as his grip slackened, trying to hold him up as more and more of his weight was brought to bear on her. Ultimately, she failed, and the two of them toppled over, down into the mud. They were going to be unpleasantly soiled before they got back to the house, but despite the storm, despite the wetness, he was in no rush to return. Rather, he was finding he rather liked being cuddled up against her; she was warm despite his cold surroundings. All those years being trapped, he now realized he'd longed for the touch, the warmth of another person, and having found one, why give it up? 

So there he stayed, pressing the girl down into the earth as the ground around them became muddier and muddier, the wind kicking up every so often. 

"I..." her voice was soft, uncertain. " I promised my mother I'd be home before dinner." 

There was no response but the soft feel of his breathing. 

"Sesshoumaru?" He could hear the concern rising in her voice. He wouldn't be surprised if she started pawing at him, trying to alleviate her own fears and to confirm that he was indeed well. 

Moments later she began doing just that as her arms raised, and briefly he thought she would embrace him. And briefly he desired it, to be held and comforted. To be kept warm by this human girl. But the desire passed, as did the thought as she began raking her fingers through his hair. Then she began stroking his head like she would her cat. 

He wasn't sure if he should be content she was trying to comfort him, or insulted she was treating him like a pet. He settled on the former, figuring her to be too uncomfortable with him to embrace him. Yet even as he thought it his mind drifted back to her hugging that human some minutes before. Who was that? How did she know him, and why she had she embraced him? 

Perhaps her going off to 'school' everyday was not such a good idea, especially seeing how he did not know what she was being exposed to when out of his sight. The moment the thought flitted through his mind, he stiffened. The girl beneath him noticed and tensed as well. He was not her protectorate! He could not be thinking such things. Nor was he in a position to protect her, although he was certain that even in this unfortunate condition he could still take any band of humans.

He managed to drag himself up with considerable assistance from the girl, but, as he expected, she didn't seem to mind. Rather, her eyes were alight with her concern again, worrying about him. The same eyes that had followed and worried about his brother so many years ago.

This, he thought back, was the same girl. It was difficult and surprisingly easy to associate the two. Sometimes it was difficult to compare this flitting creature with that girl who had stood so proudly before him, attempting to assist Inuyasha in his battles.

But it truly was her, as her scent and power gave evidence of. She had a powerful aura that he didn't sense on any of the other humans in this place. Being so it was strikingly easy to sense when she was returning home in the afternoons from school, just as it was disturbing she returned with so many strange scents upon her.

He pushed the matter aside however as he was now back on his feet and they were moving. The house wasn't a very far walk really unless you were in pain during each step, as he was. Pain had not bothered him much during his lifetime, but he'd been suffering with it for the past 500 years, during his wakefulness while suffering under the imprisonment of the miko, and eventually it simply wore you down.

Not even he, the great Lord of the Western lands was exempt from his body's senses. 

So homeward they traveled, reaching the shrine grounds just as lightning began to make an occasional appearance, lighting the skies in dramatic flashes. 

They reached their destination, soaked through and through not stopping until they had reached the safe haven of her bedroom. He didn't question why she had brought him there. With the log of hours he had spent in this room he felt it was justifiable that it be half-his anyway. 

She rose from his side without a word, leaving him. Once she was out of sight he allowed himself to slump forward resting against the hard floor under his feet. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe his lack of energy, everything hurt. He was struggling not to pant in front of her. She returned all too soon, he thought grimly not even bothering to open his eyes as her footsteps announced her presence. She knelt down beside him and began attempting to dry him with a towel. 

He could tell by her frustrated noises she was about ready to give up the fight with the towel.

"Okay, new plan!" She announced. "The clothes come off." 

"Really, miko, aren't there more interesting ways of trying to get under someone's clothes?" 

He could almost see the blush that crept over her face. He could see it if he opened his eyes but he was too tired, so he let his imagination do the work. Really, he was watching too much television; these humans were having a bad effect on him.

"I didn't mean it like that!" She snapped before returning to her task, but her hands were much more timid. More so than they would have been had he said nothing. There was really nothing she could do about his clothes anyway with him lying with his back to her. His human clothes all buttoned up the front. 

"Kagome, dinner time!" Her mother's voice called up and she sighed unhappily. 

He rolled over onto his back. He was simply too tired, sleep would claim him in moments.

"Go eat woman, I am fine." 

"But-"

"I'm not _going_ anywhere." He growled bitterly. 

He heard her soft sigh, that most certainly meant concession. He had won, he had expected so.

He half-listened as she moved around in the room, but wasn't curious enough to see what she doing until he felt himself being enclosed underneath something warm. His eyes shot open to see her tucking her pink bed spread over his body and then gently lifting his head and placing a pillow underneath it. 

It shouldn't surprise him, her little acts of kindness and concern, but he wasn't quite used to her yet. Or her pampering. 

She didn't say anything but he understood.

She worried about him when she couldn't be there. 

She left him then, and he couldn't help but watch until she was out of sight and he heard her settle down at the dinner table. Sleep was not elusive.

* * *

He hadn't experienced the deep sleep that came from complete safety and security since he was a pup under the protection of his father. In this time period however he had to fear nothing, and Kagome's delicate scent made it all too easy to drift off into slumber. It had happened many a time before when he had not intended to sleep but had simply been here, brooding over his pathetic lifestyle.

He drifted toward wakefulness and as he did his senses became aware of her. She had returned from dinner. He groaned as his eyes drifted open and he peered around him. The stiff, uncomfortable wetness of his clothes reminded him he hadn't changed and he wasn't looking forward to the difficult task. It was hard enough changing clothes that he avoided it as much as possible. 

He had barely begun the troublesome task of sitting up when he felt her hands, guiding, pulling him into an upward position. She was dry, and warm, and he unconsciously leaned back into her warmth. He realized after a moment what he was doing, but made no attempt to pull away from the arms that wrapped around him.

It was nice to relax. To let someone else simply soothe you and your worries and pains. This human girl wanted nothing from him. It didn't matter anymore that he wasn't feared. Maybe his pride was broken, he thought off handedly. Maybe it didn't matter because no one but her was here to see it. No one but the nonjudgmental woman that cared for him, smiled at him, held him. He breathed in softly, she was enough to send him straight back to dreamland for several more hours but he struggled against fatigue's hold.

The oddly detached tone he was used to, the one he registered as her uncertainty. The one she used so often with him because he felt she didn't know how to feel toward him had gone. Now her voice was soft and almost mirthful. 

"Are you fully awake, Sesshoumaru?" 

He liked it. Hearing his name. Hearing someone say it so affectionately. He hadn't heard his name in so long and she said it different than any of her house members.

He mumbled a reply but even he knew not what it was. She simply smiled.

"If you're going to stay awake let's get you into something warmer, and how about something to eat too? Mama and I kept some food for you, plus I spent the last hour preparing some soup. How about it?" 

"Hour?" He heard himself mumble. Had it been so long? 

"It's been almost four hours since you dozed off. What do you think? Want to rest some more, if so, why don't you move up to the bed, it's more comfortable." 

He grunted in reply and she giggled quietly. "Is that a no?" 

He pulled himself forward, free of his private paradise in her arms, and she helped him up. Her shyness seemed to have faded a bit as she came around and began pulling at the buttons on his shirt, but this time he kept quiet. Once loose she peeled the damp garment off his shoulders catching on his one wrist at the cuff. She came around undoing the small plastic button before pulling it completely off and tossing it absently toward the corner. He had no doubts that would be the last garment she would be pulling off him; he _knew_ she was too timid to try something more assertive.

He was not surprised, as she suddenly looked contemplative, her gaze shifting from his eyes to his waistband and back. "You should... how about I get something for you to change into?" She suggested, eager to quit the room.

He excused her with a weak inclination of his head and she rushed off pulling the door closed. He attempted to undo the clasp at his waist. He detested human clothes, he thought miserably, failing to undo the button. The buttonhole was too small to slip the button easily through it.

She returned with a simple cotton yukata, much to his relief. He hated these horrible form-fitting garments. 

She gave him a once over. "One second thought, perhaps you'd like a bath first?" 

He took note of his mud-streaked hair and agreed. He followed her to the bathroom and snatched her wrist to keep her from leaving.

"Undo this."

She faltered. "Undo this?" She repeated curiously and with a note of hesitation. 

He shot her an impatient glare. "The button, miko!" 

He watched the color drain from her face. 

"Your pants button?" She asked, as though desperately seeking confirmation before she even came a step closer.

"Do you see any other buttons?" 

He wasn't half as agitated as he was pretending to be. He actually found this little exchange to be quite amusing.

"O-kay." She proceeded toward him and reached out with slightly shaking hands, never raising her eyes from the button while trying desperately not to drop it lower either. 

She fumbled for a moment, at which point Souta walked by the open bathroom door. He halted in shock just staring as Sesshoumaru stared back before stepping back and rushing toward the stairs.

"MOM!" 

Kagome looked up but Souta was already gone. She got the button unclasped and quickly dropped her hands, and spun toward the doorway.

Although tempted, he didn't interrupt her leaving and he was left to fend for himself in the bath. 

* * *

It was really quite amazing to watch something as trivial as emotions chip away at someone's soul. Yet even as he watched day by day as her memories tormented her he wondered just how trivial emotions could be. She was being eaten alive by anguish, by her guilt over him, and over something to do with his half brother, although he wasn't certain as to the exact nature of it. 

Though his curiosity burned, he would not lower himself to inquire after it. It was her own personal matter and he deemed it unworthy of his attention even as it captivated him. 

Now, the said girl had stepped into the room, leveling her calm, tormented eyes upon his frame. She stood there so silently he wondered if perhaps something more was troubling her, something else she was hiding even further beneath her obvious veil of pain. 

The thought was fleeting however as he watched her vision clear, her thoughts falling into line and she seemed to refocus on him.

"Oh... you're up early." She commented before stepping past him to gather her bag of textbooks. He'd paged through those very books on many occasions while she slept trying to avail himself of what was in them. It was a bit of a taxing task, but he would not lower himself to ask for any more help than he was already getting from her. "I gotta go to school now, so... I'll see you later then."

Her gaze wavered unnecessarily on him before she finally left. 

His thoughts lingered on her long after she was gone, but after an hour he found the floor to be uncomfortable. This time period was spoiling him, but somehow he didn't care. He crawled up to the bed, collapsing onto the soft, comfortable surface, burrowing his face into her pillow. Her scent in the room overall normally relaxed him but he was helpless here. Her scent radiated from her bed and it pulled and tugged him toward the deepest form of relaxation, sleep. He knew already he would spend the day here, unwilling or unable to move himself from the soft haven. 

He'd come to recognize her aura and the delicately concealed power that lay hidden beneath her weak human exterior. Sensing her approach was easily done in this time of few youkai and even fewer powerful humans. Even in this city of millions Kagome's power was one of very few he could discern as anything that might be remotely threatening to him.

He stretched himself out on her bed, reveling in her fragrance. The girl was a distraction like no other - her scent sent him reeling into a small, pleasant refuge. It seemed the transference of his abhorrence of her to his adoration of her scent was quick. Logically, his brain told him he'd turned on her too quickly, but the rest of him was pleased. There was no need for aggression toward her, and she held her place serving him, as she rightly should being a human. All quite logical, but something still nagged every now and then. 

Even now he felt it, the stinging questions. He put them aside as he pulled her pillow against him, cuddling uncharacteristically against the stuffed material. Oh to be young again, he thought. He'd never desired it before, to be cast back into the helplessness he'd regarded as 'childhood' but this room made him feel that way. Young, protected, safe. Damn the girl - she was turning out to be far more damaging to him than Rin ever was.

He allowed his eyes to drift closed, intending only to rest them a moment, but sleep claimed him without his consent. When he was pulled back to wakefulness he did not expect to find bright eyes staring down at him happily.

"Hi, Sesshoumaru!" __

He frowned at her. "What is your problem, woman?" He snapped. "Do not hover over me."

He was tempted to pull her down with him, to discard the pillow he'd been holding - er, was he still holding the pillow? He quickly chucked it out of his grasp, causing her to giggle. Laughed at? Him? He growled - hoping the viciousness of the sound would startle her, knock her back into her proper place, and cease her inane laughter. It did stop, but it only caused her to frown at him. 

"Sorry, are you okay? You probably shouldn't make such sudden movements and-"

It took only a moment to shoot from the bed. He was slow. Much slower than he'd been before, but still faster than her weak human reflexes could handle. He leapt at her, she couldn't handle his weight and fell backwards and they both tumbled off the end of the bed. She landed underneath him, hitting the floor in a way that was probably painful, but he was not concerned for her welfare. 

"I do not take orders."

When she failed to respond he looked closer at her, drawing nearer. The delay might have been caused by her recovery from her pain; she looked to be slightly grimacing. 

"No one gave you any orders - but I'll give you one now. Get off me!" 

"I will not - inconvenienced I may be by these wounds, I am still your better, woman. I will not be looked down upon, especially by Inuyasha's bitch!"

Rage was boiling through his veins; perhaps he had simply been holding it in. Perhaps he'd been holding too much in. Too many emotional upheavals, too many changes, too many and too much of too many things. The door swung open and Kagome's younger brother stepped in, once again crunching on something from a bag.

"Hey what's - oh!"

The girl underneath him attempted to shift away from the suggestive position he was holding her in, but he held her fast. 

"S-Souta, could you come back later?" She tentatively asked.

"Be gone!" Sesshoumaru snarled, allowing his demon blood to pulse to life within him tinting his eyes a dangerously red color.

The boy faltered and then took off, calling for his mother loudly.

"Weakling - the woman cannot save him. She cannot save you. He should be strung up and drained of his blood slowly, until his screams cease to entertain me."

His claws dug into the area rug by her head and yet she still looked up at him calmly. 

"It's all right," she urged. "I know you're upset."

He growled at her once more. Her calmness was only adding to his fury, how dare she not fear him? When had he ceased being who he was, 'Lord of the Western Lands'?!

"It-it doesn't have to be this way though. I've been thinking about it for a while. I can... change this, if it's what you really want."

The angry haze cleared slightly as her words came to him, and his tense hands went lax. 

"The well doesn't work anymore, but... within my body I still carry the complete Shikon no tama. I could... use it to wish you back to the era you belong in, free of this time and of the injuries you've suffered." 

He could go back? He pulled himself painfully to his feet and hauled her up as well. He could go back. He could get away from all this madness. This life he couldn't live. The life he'd been fumbling through so far was no longer bearable compared to the alternative of returning to his home. His true place, not this warped version of reality. Maybe he could even prevent this from happening? But that was a far off thought and he put it aside for another day.

He dragged her to the well house and waited. Waited for her to tell him what to do. What to do to send him home again.

"I can't... the jewel is embedded within my body. My left side, you'll have to remove it."

He turned toward her and she lifted the left corner of her blouse pulling it up slightly, turning her head away, and closing her eyes, waiting for his claws to pierce her flesh. He trailed his fingertips against her skin, her warmth staining his fingers. He paused momentarily thinking about what he was doing, about what he was about to do. About this girl whose scent so delighted him. This girl who had so endeavored to care for him, but he could go back home. He could return to his place in history, and free her of the burden of caring for him. He could go back to Rin, and it would also free her of her responsiblity to the shikon jewel. Yes, this was the right decision. He would always have his memories... 

Before he could think further he flicked his wrist, slicing her open cleanly and her blood poured rather than oozed as a small fuchsia colored ball dropped to the ground. She collapsed onto her knees, reaching to clutch the jewel and it glowed in her hands. She closed her eyes again and lowered her head in concentration as her blood continued to soak into her white school uniform top and down into her green skirt.

She was somewhere else, but she didn't know where. A foggy covered plane with no ups or downs, and there seemed to be nothing beneath her feet, just as there was nothing above her head. Yet despite the lack of dimensions she heard footsteps - small, diminutive footsteps approaching her, and then a voice.

"Kagome..." 

"I need to make a wish," she stated firmly. She felt obligated, she needed to do this.

"'Need'?" the voice repeated.

"I have to... it's my fault. I wish to correct a wrong and make it right again. It is an unselfish wish, please let me have it."

"An unselfish wish, you say?" The figure materialized into one she'd known to be Midoriko. "Perhaps you simply want this wish to annul your own guilt. Is that unselfish?"

She lowered her head in shame. "Maybe you are right, but it does not change my mind. Please?"

"You are the chosen one, the only miko that may purify this jewel and cease this useless struggle I am forced to fight. Make your wish if you believe in it whole - heartedly. Drain this jewel of its power and let us all go to our graves in peace." 

Kagome was uncertain whether or not she would be included with those going to their graves, but she was willing to risk it. 

"I wish that Sesshoumaru be returned to his rightful time period, with Rin and Jaken. Let his injuries be soothed and most importantly, let this time here with me... be forgotten." 

"This wish..." Midoriko replied, her image glittering. "... will be granted as you have decreed. Thank you."

Kagome opened her eyes. The jewel in her hands was gone - and the youkai who had been so impatiently by her side was also gone. She was alone, polluting the ground of the well house with her blood. Alone. Completely...alone. 

[End]

----------------------------

Author's Notes: One shot? - Yes, but it has such nice potential for a romance to bloom between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. If anyone wants to continue it, please do so. If anyone does continue it, please email me ( profiler120@hotmail.com ) so I can read it. I would really enjoy that. ^_^


	2. Breathe Sequel

Breathe (Breath in the Pages Sequel)

~ Part Two ~

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com

Rating: PG 

Pairing: Sess/Kag

Author's Notes: This was unbelievably hard to continue. I just can't *think* with Sesshoumaru and Kagome in the same modern timeline if they were together in the past. It's out of my scope of imagination almost. 

This is dedicated to all the people who left requests for me to continue it. Especially the people who took the time to email me, I'm not sure I replied to half of them, but rest assured I received them. Although I love this story the chapter lengths are unbelievably long (I never intended it to be more than a one-shot) and inspiration is hard to come by. 

* * *

It was unnatural. The purple hue that surrounded him and his body. He was encased in it. He could see nothing beyond it and it was making his head hurt. For a moment, he was hesitant to move expecting it to be painful. He was surprised and confused; as to when he did it was painless. It had hurt before hadn't it? He could not recall being injured, but the sensation was fresh in his memory however.

The purple haze cleared and he found himself in the clearing by the village Inuyasha was often found in. Beside him was the old, dry well. He peered around curiously - waiting. No hanyou charged him, seeking out his destruction. No one came at all; it was as though he were not there at all, unnoticed by the pitiful human insects that inhabited the village some distance off. 

He recalled then, that his half brother was gone. Lost to the depths of hell with his human lover. Yes, he remembered that now, Naraku had been killed and Inuyasha had gone away with the dead miko. The other humans he assumed to be within the village, but something still troubled him. Something about the human miko his half brother had traveled with. Why was his memory of her so fragmented, better yet, why was he thinking about her at all? She normally did not stand out other than as an annoyance.

Something was certainly amiss. He felt the same- single arm intact, one arm still missing. His appendages were accounted for. He was not injured, but he could smell her. The miko girl, her scent covered him. What the hell? He reeked of her! The bitch had actually _touched _him? Where was the wretched woman, so that she may be killed for this offense?

Yet, there was no stirring about him. Her scent did not linger here as it had on previous occasions. He hesitated and took off toward the village. She would undoubtedly be there. Stranger still, when he arrived he still detected no sign of her. Her scent did not register at all, as it should have if she were there. His senses were functioning, he could smell the rest of the humans, and she was easily detectable among the others. Her scent was different, cleaner perhaps. He had always simply thought of it as 'otherworldly' and chalked it up to her miko status and dismissed it.

He faltered, hovering about the edges of the village, discreetly watching, but there was no sign of her. Nor of her human companions - none of them seemed to be here. None but the old woman whose name he didn't know. He followed her with his eyes as she hobbled out of her hut to the edge of a field and began pulling up greenery. 

He stepped out, into her sight and she looked up.

"Eh? Sesshoumaru?"

She did not continue her task but met his stare evenly. 

"Where is the miko?"

"Miko? You mean Kagome? Special girl she was, but magic brought her to this world and magic took her away." 

Magic? Is that what happened with the purple hue from earlier? The girl? Had he been with the girl and she somehow sent him back? It may explain why her scent lingered so strongly on him, but it did not explain why he could not remember. What would he have been doing with her in the first place? His feet carried him away from there and he knew without thinking of it he was heading home. Home to the Western Lands where he belonged, but something remained. Something tugged eerily at him when he thought of her and each time the feeling got a little stronger. 

* * *

There was something utterly cinematic about being alone there in the well house, blood staining her clothes. She was beginning to feel lightheaded. She suddenly thought her mother would be unhappy she'd ruined another school uniform. Had he cut her deeper than she thought? She didn't want to look, she didn't want to move. Maybe if she just stayed here...

Maybe it would be so bad.

Maybe...

Oh, it hurt. It stung, tears finally gathered in her eyes. Why her? Why did this have to happen to her? Why did she have to sacrifice herself for all these people? Why did she have to be born with such a selfless character? Her breath hitched, and her vision clouded. She vaguely realized she was seconds from passing out and didn't try to fight it. 

Perhaps Midoriko was right - perhaps she too was going to her grave, but would she be going peacefully? She shivered, suddenly feeling cold. Where would this end? Where did the pain of the Shikon end? She prayed in that one singular moment left of consciousness that she could bear it all. That she could suffer every last ounce of pain the Shikon could dish out and wipe the demonic little jewel out of existence. 

* * *

There was something about the way she was looking at him. Something that reminded him of something else, but it was all fuzzy in his head. He couldn't quite pinpoint the look, the expression.

"Are you okay, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

She was older, taller, more independent than she had been, but the female in front of him was still little Rin. A few years had past and now she stood on her own as a teenager. Yet something was bothering him lately about her. Perhaps it was the look she got in her eyes occasionally when she stared at him. A look she got when she was worried about him. Why did such strong feelings bubble up when he thought of a female, a human female worrying over him? It was baffling. Again his thoughts trailed back to Inuyasha's human miko. No one had heard or seen from her since the battle with Naraku many years ago. The young woman he'd seen fighting with his brother had become a legend told in every village. He'd given up looking for her after that initial afternoon when he'd been told she 'left this world' via magic. 

He could only imagine what kind of 'world' she came from, but he did congratulate himself on pinpointing her as 'otherworldly'. She did not fit in here among these people. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin repeated, now tugging at his sleeve.

"It's nothing Rin."

She was hesitant to accept this, but she ultimately did. He was giving her no other choice in the matter. She scampered off, heading down to the human village as she did so often these days. As she aged it appeared she enjoyed the social company of other humans and he had allowed her free leave of him whenever she wished to go. It did free up quite a bit of his time, and Jaken didn't seem to mind much either.

He no longer felt the same. He felt different now than he had on that sunny afternoon after the unexplainable purple fog. His nerves felt calmer than they had before, perhaps it was an effect from raising Rin, but somehow he got that same strange, tingling feeling again. The feeling that always reminded him of Inuyasha's - what was her name? 

The old woman had called her 'Kagome' that must have been it. When he thought on it, the feeling returned. It seemed to be tugging him toward memories that didn't exist but perhaps he was being paranoid. Perhaps that afternoon in the forest had disturbed him more than he thought. It seemed plausible enough - she had appeared in a dream or two. Not that his dreams were making much sense these days either, she would pop up sporadically, and strangely enough each time she did she was apologizing to him. 

Why would she, this Kagome girl, being apologizing to him? And for what? His suspicions had been raised even further then when he'd learned from Jaken he'd been missing several months. That had severely disturbed him, especially when he'd had no memory of this 'disappearing act' he'd apparently pulled. He knew with certainty she'd had something to do with it, but was unable to figure it out. 

"Master?"

He lifted his head. In the arched doorway some feet ahead of him old Jaken was peering within.

"It is time."

He nodded grimly, snapping the book he'd been reading from closed. It was amazing how he'd kept this, how he'd found the time to keep writing in the book all this time. Even more so that there remained enough pages for it. This book had been a gift one year. An offering from a nameless traveler through his lands. It had confused him, as there was no writing within its pages and yet it was so beautifully adorned. Later he had figured out it was to be used as a journal and despite his initial hesitation he found writing in the book to be relaxing. 

"Time," he spoke, his voice distant and strange to his own ears. All this time he'd been waiting. Waiting for this _'time' _to reappear. Year after year more had been revealed to him, as time slowly unraveled the pieces of the future. He stood, his feet raising him to a task he now believed he was destined to undertake. Beyond the doorway Jaken watched him go quietly as he left.

His servants were milling about silently, as though the day were an ominous thing. Shippou the stout young kitsune waited for him by the door.

"Kouga has been notified, the car is waiting outside." 

He nodded weakly and stepped past. He knew the kitsune wanted to come, he was practically squirming, but this was his trip to make, and he wanted his time to do this, alone. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He stopped in the doorway, and turned back. In Shippou's hands rested his book.

"You should take this." 

He eyed the book and then the troublesome kitsune. After a moment's more contemplation, he silently agreed and took the offered book. Turning away, he proceeded toward the vehicle out-front, his modern human clothes no longer the burden he'd once thought them. No human oil based make-up covered his hereditary markings, his nails were finished, but still bearing their deadly edges, and his furry appendage still slung over his shoulder. 

His servant, Kouga, pulled the car door open and he ducked inside quietly. In a moment, they were on their way. 

He'd been waiting for this moment _years_. His blood was racing with the thought. He had been patient, biding his time. His minions had long since staked out the property that surrounded the Goshinboku, the legendary tree, and the shrine that had cropped up around it. As the car pulled up to the curb, he gazed up.

Kouga pulled open his door and he stepped out onto the sidewalk. The humans around him chattered, whispering about his odd appearance, but he ignored them, proceeding toward the finely crafted stone stairs. The stairs he'd seen built. He moved toward them, sounds a blur in his ears. He raised a foot and then lowered it upon the first stone plane, expecting a wave of pain to wash over him. None came.

Years he'd watched, and waited, memories replaying past his eyes, and sensations long forgotten, returned. His mind whispered of things taken place here, memories stripped forcibly from him. The anger had gone. Mostly gone, but she would have things to answer for. He reached the top of the grand staircase and proceeded to pass underneath the torii gate. The courtyard swept open, more familiar feelings washing over him. This place, for some while had been a home to him. 

He turned left, making his way leisurely toward the back of the property. He caught it then, a scent on the wind. An aromatic, pungent odor that riled his senses and he unconsciously walked faster toward it. An uneasy feeling overcame him as he approached the well house, the place that had left him back in his own era. The doors were closed - had they not be open when he last left here? 

It was uncanny, and left him feeling shaken the way his body was reacting to this. Stress, he felt stressed, and relieved, and anxious. He was feeling almost overwhelmed. 

He stepped up and slid the old, rustic door open, and was assaulted by the scent that had caught him on the breeze. Blood. At the bottom of the stairs she waited, faithfully waiting for him, though he doubted she realized she had been waiting. He proceeded down the well steps, dirtying his immaculate shoes with the soil of the well house floor. Her body was spread out, eyes closed, and mouth open as if in a silent cry for assistance. A slight, unhappy grimace upon her silent features.

He kneeled, reaching out a clawed hand toward her blood stained garment, sliding it up away from her wound. The wound he'd so carelessly inflicted upon her so long ago. His fingers slicked through her blood, as he lowered himself down, leveling with her cut. The scent of it filled him, his eyes drifting closed as he traced his tongue along her skin. Her blood coated his tongue, running down his throat as he repeated the motion again, slowly, diligently cleansing her. 

He reached, lifting her, pulling her frame against his, head dropping back unconsciously and walked her out of the old well house. He walked around to the back of the house and leapt easily to her window, slipping through it with his precious bundle. Lucky for him she kept it open in the summertime. He deposited her upon the bubble gum colored bedspread. 

He watched her a few minutes as she slumbered, gone from the world, lost in her dreams. He wondered what she saw behind her eyelids, what memories, or fantasies her mind conjured up for her. She didn't shift, or sigh, or moan. No words escaped her parted lips, no names, not his. She said nothing, being perfectly still as though she barely breathed. 

His eyes drifted over her frame, her blood stained green skirt, and white blouse. Coming to a decision he sat the book aside and kneeled on one side of the bed. She would have to be changed and bandaged; even now she continued to bleed. He reached for the hem of the white blouse, and maneuvering her gently working it up over her body. Her head fell back against her pillow, raven colored hair spilling over her pillow. He stared down at her, creamy expanses of skin exposed to his eyes. He undid the button, sliding the green pleated material down her long, thin legs. 

He ran his hands up her shins to her knees, fingertips raised.

She was as he remembered her. Soft, yielding, a gentle, but deadly creature. Were he a youkai of lesser standing he might have felt like a bug in a spider's web. But her power did not scare him. Her untapped, wild strength would not frighten him away. 

She could not know it. She wouldn't know the remainder of the purified Shikon's power had been absorbed into her body and melded with her own natural miko strength. She could not be aware that a fierce wave of fatal energy coalesced within her. She could not know fate had intended her to be a woman of power. 

He stood, intending to redress her, but as he gazed upon her frame lying there, he suddenly put the thought off. Why hide her form from him? He had intentions for her. He knew not what they were only that they had led him here today and that they would lead him here another day. He left the room only momentary to fetch a few things and returned. He wrapped over her wound quickly, making no fuss over it and stood once more. He stared down over his handiwork, peering over his obsession. Sensing a shift in her power that meant she would wake soon he turned and fled. Now was not the time for his discovery. _She _was at _his _will this time. 

* * *

Kagome drifted towards wakefulness, her mind floating. What was this strange feeling? She fluttered awake. She groaned, pulling herself up on her bed. Her body ached, the wound on her side pulsing with pain. Yet as she looked over herself she came to the dramatic discovery - she was no longer in the well house. Perhaps more startling, she was no longer in her clothes. 

She pulled the blanket around her, looking around. Who had undressed her and left her in her undergarments? Her mother wouldn't do that, Souta was flat out incapable, and her grandfather wouldn't dare. So... who had? Better yet, where was this mysterious, perverted rescuer? She peered around, but nothing seemed out of order. Her room was intact, the house was quiet, and she was bandaged. So... what was going on?

She quickly pulled on some clothes and left her room, never noticing the book that had been at her side, forgotten by her visitor. She checked around the house, cautiously but with the feeling no one was there to harm her. In the end, she found nothing and ended up retreating back to her room. She had just decided to crack down on the Algebra when she noticed it.

_A book_ lying on her bed. She walked over, picking up the suspicious item staring at its cover with dread. Books were a bad sign, she though. It looked old, amazingly so. Especially old books. She flipped open the cover which had no writing and scanned the first page. 

_"A gift to Sesshoumaru ~ Grand Lord of the Western Lands." _

Sesshoumaru? How did -? She suddenly had a cold, very nasty chill. _This _was bad. 

She turned the page.

There was no 'dear journal' or 'dear diary' there was just writing. Classic Japanese writing in vertical columns but done so neatly one might have considered it art. It started right in with - _"I fail to understand why recording one's thoughts in a book should help, but I have determined to test its usefulness. "_

She smiled, how like him to say something like that. Yet at the same time it made her uneasy. This book should not be in her possession. How had it come to be here? She paled with the thought the youkai lord might have been in her bedroom. That it might have been him who had taken her apart from her clothes and left her exposed over her bed, but bandaged. He might get some kind of sick humor out of that, she thought sourly.

But there was no real way for her to find out. She sat up, pulling the book into her lap and looking it over. She sighed heavily. If this was truly his journal, as it appeared to be - she should not be reading it. It was... morally wrong of her. Still, it had been left, maybe it was meant for her to be read? How was she to know? Why did everything have to have so many 'ifs' attached? She really felt like screaming about the unpleasantness of it all.

"Kagome!"

With the shout she knew her mother had returned. Tucking the book under her pillow she determined she would get back to it later. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru managed to make it to his plush desk chair before the medication wore off completely leaving him a boneless heap upon his office floor. He groaned, dropping his head down onto his arms cradled up on the desk. 

Human medication in this era was a wonderful thing, but it only worked for so long at a time without prescription strength and that was difficult for him to get a hold of these days. 

He was, in a very real sense, in hiding. His contacts were reluctant, at best to assist him, and those who did were not as trustworthily as he'd have liked. Perhaps that was why he was seeking her. Needing her. Because he knew deep down she could be trusted. How desperately he'd wanted to crawl into that bed beside her, snag the miko to his side, bury his nose in her hair, and sleep away all his troubles. He wanted to wrap himself in the endless pink, and drown in her scent. The very thought of it made him yearn for her. 

His plight was a difficult one and even after 500 years he was not certain he understood it. He'd initially been sealed by his brother's wench, Kikyo, to the pages of a book. 500 years later he'd been released by her reincarnation, Kagome only to be given a second chance when she made a wish upon the sacred Shikon no tama. Only, he'd discovered the hard way that Fate was against him. He'd found out, painfully, it was his destiny to be sealed away for 500 years and because he hadn't, his punishment had been dealt _another _way. 

Tragedy had followed him around for the last 500 years. He hung his head. Rin was lost. His lands suffered and finally were wrenched from him. His pride had been irrevocably damaged. He'd learned the inner workings and emotional backlash that followed a betrayal of someone cherished. To top it off, the jewel's wish had come unraveled. His health had ebbed away slowly as his memories had returned. Day after day he remembered more of his brother's _other_ wench, the miko who now plagued his thoughts daily. He recalled, slowly over time how he'd come to be in his present situation. Many a day he'd longed for her, simply to fall back into the comforting embrace she'd so willingly given him not realizing what he'd had before he'd cast it off so foolishly. 

If he hadn't...

If he hadn't made that selfish wish, Rin wouldn't have been lost. 

She would have been heartbroken, but she would have lived. She would have married and had children but because of him she'd been tragically snatched from him. Not even he, the great lord could save her when her lifeless body had been destroyed in the carnage. Tensaiga could not revive mere pieces of a girl, if 'pieces' were an adequate term for what had been left of his little Rin. 

Tensaiga. How many times had he wanted that sword to heal him? How many times had he looked to it, a plea in his eyes for reprieve and gotten nothing? How many times had Tensaiga saved him from death only to allow him to suffer more? He dropped his head to the desk. And suffer he did. Alone. 

But the miko - he'd finally found the miko he regretted leaving. He regretted leaving her nothing of himself, nothing to find him by. Even his own startling change of opinion surprised him. Miko... the miko... his miko. He would have her back. He needed her. Her embrace... where was she now? Now... when he needed her more than ever? 

* * *

"You've been acting oddly, Kagome? Are you sure nothing's bothering you?" 

She sighed for what might have been the thousandth time. "I'm just fine. Really, you can stop asking me already." 

The three girls exchanged glances but ultimately let the topic drop before bringing up Houjo. Kagome groaned. Even now Houjo haunted her, when would it end?

Kagome sighed as her friends blathered on about this and that. That book she'd found in her room was on her mind again. Sesshoumaru... 

She hadn't stopped thinking of him since he'd gone. Wondering how he was, worrying about his health. Had the wish worked? Was he okay? What about Rin and Jaken? Of course none of her questions could be answered. 

Yet the strangest feeling had been plaguing her lately. She felt...watched. She could've sworn she felt youki in the air. It was rather weak, distilled in large portions of air but it was youki all the same meaning youkai were around and lurking. 

Worse yet it seemed that they weren't just 'lurking' but that they were lurking specifically around _her_. Although they hadn't seemed to want to hurt her, but it was disturbing all the same. She stopped as she reached the stairs waving goodbye to her friends. She watched them walk off waiting until they were out of sight before she turned her analytical gaze to the area around her. 

Where was it? 

There was youki in the air again. Strong youki here... somewhere close...watching her. She straightened suddenly. Was she being stalked by youkai? Did they know about the Shikon no tama? The jewel no longer 'existed' in its previous form but its power did linger around the shrine, more specifically around her, it's guardian. 

She couldn't pinpoint it. The youki was all around her, mixed with the air, she couldn't pinpoint it. She turned making her way up into the shrine yard. There was something disturbing about the presence she felt, something familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. She turned one last time before heading back to the house. She continued on, passing under the Goshinboku only to stop again as she felt a 'tingling'. She looked up into the branches of Goshinboku listening to the quiet rustle of wind. What was up there? 

Knowing it was sensed the creature above her head seem to panic as she suddenly saw movement, but only a blur to her human eyes. A small slip of paper drifted out of the branches following the fleeing youkai and she reached for it. 

She unfolded the small paper. Inside was a small, pressed leaf She looked up into the canopy eyeing the leaf pattern of the Goshinboku and gasped. In the book left on her bed there was a pressed leaf on the left side of every entry. She now realized, staring at the leaf in her hand, they were the Goshinboku's leaves!

* * *

"Kitsune." 

Shippou froze at the icy hiss. 

"Eh... heh, heh. Sesshoumaru, didn't see you there..." He scratched his head uncomfortably.

"Where were you?"

"Um... walking. This old place is stuffy." 

"I can smell _her_..."   
Shippou backed up a pace. "I went to the shrine. I just wanted to see her, she didn't know I was there... exactly." 

The low, rumbling growl caused him to tremble where he stood. Sesshoumaru had been a grouchy thing before but these days he was down right unpleasant in all aspects. Most of the time he was completely silent, and when he wasn't he was complaining. The only thing he really cared about at all it seemed, was his obsessive interest in Kagome, the miko that had battled evil 500 years in the past. 

In fact, his interest in Kagome was downright frightening in it's intensity. The few minions Sesshoumaru had were all, in some capacity, to watch and protect Kagome but they were never, _never_, to touch her or be seen by her. 

"All right, I won't go there anymore!" 

Shippou managed to slink away from the angry lord without a violent confrontation but he was just narrowly avoiding it. He hung his head lowly. He didn't enjoy it, living with Sesshoumaru. 

It was an usual arrangement. He'd met up with Sesshoumaru at the same time as Kouga and Ayame and the remnants of the wolf clan. They had banded together when humans had started hunting down youkai and it became apparent the former glorious youkai lord Sesshoumaru was no longer in perfect health even though he was now of two arms again. 

When Shippou had realized just how unwell Sesshoumaru was, he'd taken to trying to protect him along with Jaken. 

He sighed heavily. 

He didn't regret making the decision to help Sesshoumaru. He'd done it because of Kagome, because he believed Kagome would have done it. Now he'd come to learn that Sesshoumaru and Kagome held some kind of history he wasn't aware of and that Sesshoumaru had a deadly obsession with her. 

Well, deadly to anyone who dared to interfere with her and his interest in her. Kouga had learned that the hard way getting a good thrashing from Sesshoumaru and then another from Ayame, the youkai that had long since become his mate. 

He would just have to wait it out. Wait until Sesshoumaru went back to her so that he could approach the girl without being snarled at by the viciously jealous youkai lord. 

* * *

She stared at its pages once more. The book had to be ancient. This time she was relieved however to find it was just an ordinary book. Nothing remotely magical about it. Most of the passages in it were about Rin and regret. He'd wrote _extensively _on the death of Rin. The entire book was nothing but laments and tragedy. 

She carefully filed it away into her side table with a heavy sigh. What did this mean for her? She hadn't seen Sesshoumaru in months, and she imagined to herself she never would again and yet there was this strange feeling in the air. She decided to think nothing more of it and turned her eyes to her backpack. She had a heap of homework to do. She hauled herself up and plopped down at her desk, dragging her bag at her feet. She pulled her advanced geometry book up into sight. Since she'd stopped going to the past she'd been able to catch up in her homework. Strangely enough the 'absence' she'd taken to fight Naraku and collect shards had done wonders for her maturity. Math was the main benefactor of her newly improved self. Although she still loathed the subject she couldn't help but beam at pride at her own progress.

Not only that but tomorrow they were going on a field trip! She hadn't been on one of those in forever! It was just some boring historical mansion tour for history class but she got to spend the day with her friends in a non-studying environment, it couldn't have been any better than that. She sighed. It was going to be great! 

_Field trip! Field trip! Field trip!_ It was going to be great. No one could crush her hopes for the day. Or so she thought until she scampered down the stairs to find she'd be walking to school in the rain, but still! They were going on a tour of an old mansion; there was no way they'd call it off because of a little drizzle. 

When she finally made her way to the school she found her friends, just as excited as she. 

"You're late, Kagome!" Ayumi chimed. "Hanging out with that jealous, possessive boyfriend of yours?" 

Kagome frowned. "No, Souta spilled juice all over my uniform at breakfast so I had to bathe and change all over again!" she pouted. "We're still going, right?" she asked, eager to divert attention away from Inuyasha. 

Eri smiled. "Yes, Kida-sensei said we're still going. I already asked." 

Kagome smiled. "Yes! I'm so happy!" 

The girls exchanged looks. 

"We're only going on a tour," one of them said, watching, as Kagome seemed to dance around with glee. 

"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how much I need this break?!" she sighed. "It's going to be so great!" 

Nearly an hour later they arrived at their destination, her friends having successfully picked up Kagome's enthusiasm. 

Kagome gasped brokenly. "It's beautiful!" 

She stared up at the ancient mansion. Despite being old the building was in amazing condition. At the door a tall man was standing, grinning, waving them ahead. Their teachers went first, lines of students following after. 

Kagome's mood was quickly dampening however as she took one step and then another closer to the mysterious old mansion. There was something tingling her senses, and the closer she got the uneasier she became. 

She nervously stepped over the threshold into the house and froze as she realized the source of her distress. It was youki. She could feel it everywhere. Everything seemed to have been tainted by a youkai source. It was such a tangible feeling it almost made her skin crawl.

"Kagome-chan?" 

She blinked herself awake and hurried to catch up with her friends, laughing off her discomfort. Hopefully the youkai the youki had emanated from was not here at the moment, but she got the sinking suspicion he was. 

She walked along with her guide, playing the role of good attentive little student while her mind wandered. There was a youkai here. The further they went, the more convinced she became and she was now obsessed with finding it! As the class reached the end of a hall lined with paintings they split off to the right, and she stopped again inclining her head to the left. 

The youki again, she thought. Strong youki. She glanced once at her friends retreating backs and turned left, leaving her group. She would be in trouble later but she would claim one of the paintings fascinated her and she was lost. She walked along, hurrying to get out of sight of her classmates, ducking into the first room where the feeling was strongest. 

It was early morning, but brightly lit outside. The room however had shades drawn over every window blocking the light. There was a desk and chair - both modern western styles set up but she couldn't make out much else. Wooden cabinets were on the right side near the door and what looked to be a set of doors also curtained to the left of the desk. 

She backed up a step as she realized the feeling was stronger here. The youki was everywhere around her, she could almost feel it swirling around her frame as if to devour her. She cast her eyes about trying to find the source, was the youkai in the room? It had to be, she reasoned. 

She continued glancing around; wondering where if she'd lost her mind invading the youkai's room. What if it attacked her? Her breath caught sharply as her vision dimmed suddenly a shadowy figure looming in front of her. 

She looked up, and then backed into the door in response, eyes widening, and breath halting.

"Sesshoumaru?" She cast her eyes to the floor and then shut them tight. She had to be imagining things. He couldn't really be standing there. Yet when she opened them again, there he stood. Heavily shadowed, but still visible in the weak light of the room.

"Sesshoumaru?" she repeated, but no sound came from the figure. "Am I awake? I could've sworn I woke up this morning though - I can't be daydreaming. I couldn't have imagined the youki I felt either so... How did you... get here?" 

He was silent yet again, and she watched as his form slid gracefully forward but slowly taking one step and then another. Her eyes widened once more as she realized she'd seen such languid moves before. Her mouth fell open in surprise as she stepped forward catching him as he tumbled suddenly, as he impacted with her causing them both to fall. 

The fall was a painful shock on her knees but she didn't say anything, her hands still on his shoulders where she'd tried to keep him up, but couldn't. 

"The jewel...I am not really surprised. I mean, I'm surprised to see you and all, but I'm not all that surprised it didn't work the way I intended." 

He lifted his head from its somewhat drooped position, and gold eyes gleamed back at her, silver white hair falling over the backs of her hands.

"Nothing with the Shikon no tama is ever so simple. Even in its most purified form the jewel still holds the tainted souls of demons. Maybe that's why it didn't work..." she mused. "Anyway... how are you? You don't look so well." 

There was a low, distinctive rumbling in his chest, but somehow the sound wasn't intimidating as weak as it was. She smiled gently at him. 

"This is your house?" 

He shifted suddenly leaning forward. Kagome tensed at his movement, mouth dropping open to protest as she felt his hands wrap around her shoulders, the points of his nails sinking straight through her clothing to rest against her skin. He pulled her, quickly and effortlessly forward just far enough for him to lean toward her, his head dropping to her shoulder. He nuzzled his face against her skin, breathing in her scent as she tried to fight her blush. 

She struggled to regain her composure, sliding her hands from their awkward position on his shoulders around his back in a loose embrace allowing him the warmth and comfort she guessed he was seeking from her. 

"I guess things haven't been going so well then." 

There was a little rumble but he didn't speak.

"Surely you haven't lost your voice - ah! You! You were the one who came to my room that day! Weren't you?" She pushed him away and he drifted back, eyes meeting hers. 

"What of it?" He growled at her, defensively it seemed.

"If you haven't gotten any better how did you-" she trailed off as he leaned gradually heavier against her. She, with some difficulty managed to lower them to the floor so she wasn't supporting his weight. He... was asleep?

The poor guy, she thought. She didn't hear the footsteps until it was too late. The door was sliding open, but then someone called out.

"Kida-san! Do you have a student, Higurashi Kagome?"

Kagome strained to listen while she held the sleeping youkai lord.

"Yes, why?"

"We just got a phone call about their being a family emergency and that she needed to come home right away!"

Kagome began to panic until she felt him come to life again, shifting his place in her arms. "There's nothing wrong." He murmured. "... My servant..." he murmured weakly pulling her back to him like a treasured teddy bear. 

She couldn't say how long she was there, resting on the floor with him, but it had to have been hours. She hadn't even realized she'd fallen asleep until she heard the gentle clinking of dishes and awoke to a smiling face leaning down over her.

"Hi, Kagome!" 

Huh? Who was this? She was about to speak when his arms tightened convulsively around her pulling her flush against his chest obstructing her view of the visitor. A low, warning growl was tossed at the visitor.

"Oh, come on! Why can't I say 'hi' too?! You've been hogging her all morning! I even got rid of that pesky teacher of hers so we could keep her, too!" 

Kagome blinked. Who on earth was speaking so? 

"Sesshoumaru?" At her voice he loosed his grip allowing her to squirm away, but he was scowling about it. She sat up, and then made a point of helping him to do the same although she suspected he was leaning on her more than necessary. She had nothing to base her suspicions on however. "It's almost like before you left, except for the whole dark mansion thing." 

She had her back to the visitor, her attention focused on him.

"Kagome! What about me?!"

"Hmm?" She turned slightly. "Um... who are you?" 

"You don't remember me?" The youth wailed. He was tall, taller than her with red brown color hair and bright green eyes. She was certain she knew of no one by such a description, but then her eyes narrowed on him. Youki. She looked closer; his feet were covered, as were his hands, his ears...

"Youkai...?"

"You were barely a foot high, fool. Of course she doesn't remember you." 

The unidentified youkai sputtered. "I was more than a foot high!" 

Sesshoumaru scoffed. "Introduce yourself and leave, you are interrupting." 

His tone was anything but accommodating. 

"Kagome?" 

She looked back from where she had again turned her gaze to Sesshoumaru. "Hmm?"

"You didn't forget me did you... Shippou..."

"S-Shippou?" She stood, leaving Sesshoumaru causing him another growl, but she ignored it for the moment. "You're Shippou?"

She blinked. He nodded enthusiastically. "I've been staying with Sesshoumaru since I found out he was injured. It's... been a long time actually, he hasn't gotten any better at all but the modern medicine really helps when we can get a hold of it."

Her gaze flickered back to Sesshoumaru. "You have difficulty getting medicines?"

"Most pain relievers aren't strong enough, and the ones that are strong enough are controlled substances and highly addictive," Shippou chirped. "I would know, I am a trained medical professional." 

"You're a doctor?" Kagome inquired, looking back. 

Shippou averted his gaze. "Not exactly."

"He's a nurse." Sesshoumaru was grinning at the kitsune.

Shippou turned a glare on his master. "There's no shame in that!" 

Kagome immediately sided with Shippou. "I agree, I'm very proud of you Shippou. Did you take medical training just to help Sesshoumaru?"

He barely inclined his head in a nod. 

"Oooh!" She leapt at him, circling her arms around him in a hug. "Shippou-chan! I'm so proud! You grew up into someone so strong and caring! This couldn't have turned out any better!" Her enthusiasm dimmed momentarily. "Er... unless of course you were better, Sesshoumaru."

His mood wasn't the slightest brightened by either the kitsune or the girl's happiness. She could tell by looking at him.

"He hasn't been eating well. He keeps going on about some 'human food' nonsense. I think it might have something to do with canned goods, but I'm not really sure. Maybe you can talk him out of it." 

Kagome nodded. "Is this it?" She asked, finally noticing the cart behind Shippou lined with foods.

"Yup, I brought food for you too, Kagome. I'll be back later, okay?"

He waved and swept out the door leaving them alone and Kagome looked to the tray of food.

. . . 

He stared at her and then glanced at the tray of food she was carrying over to him. She wasn't actually going to attempt _feeding_ him, was she? She picked up a bowl, apparently of soup and gently held it out to him.

"Smells good, try it." She urged holding it out. 

He glanced up at her skeptically as though perhaps she'd lost her mind. 

"Oh, come on. You're in bad enough shape as it is; do you really want to weaken yourself further by not eating? Even youkai need food."

He turned his head away, ignoring her.

"Sesshoumaru!" she scolded. 

He held off a smirk. He'd... He'd missed her, hadn't he? She was less apologetic, he realized. Her guilt seemed to have faded with that wish. He looked back meeting clear, but concerned eyes. They were no longer clouded by sadness. He was glad to see that, her eyes were pretty things. The only thing he would admit to about her being 'pretty' at all considering she looked very average. Her eyes were expressive though, bright and always full of emotion. 

What would he do now? Now that he had her back? 

She was still insistent upon his eating, he realized as she neared him with the bowl. 

Would she stay with him? Should he order her to? Would she listen if he did? Would he see the return of the guilt in her eyes? Had she read his journal? Did she know about Rin? He had a million questions, but she seemed solely interested in making him eat the sea green soup in the bowl.

He stared down at it wondering at its lack of steam. What was this? Cold soup?

"It's made from cucumbers, I think it's foreign. I never really liked it personally, but it's probably good for you."

He wasn't hungry. Truth be told he hadn't had much of an appetite lately, the human medications he took often relieved his pain but left him feeling sour. 

It was one of the primary reasons he didn't like traditional human' food. For whatever reason it seemed to affect him adversely and he didn't like abdominal upset. Certain human staple foods, well one food most notably, -rice-, made him ill. Although he hated the term- he seemed to be allergic' to it, and it being the country's most used food product, he thought to save himself the trouble by avoiding all things human'. 

No one had ever called him on it. Who would ever dare? Except for perhaps this female

He took the soup wordlessly. There was unlikely to be any rice in it, so he tasted it. It was cold. It was _supposed_ to be cold, wasn't it? 

"It's supposed to be cold, in case you're wondering. Like I said, it's foreign." 

He sipped the soup silently, not liking or disliking it. He barely tasted anything, thoughts too preoccupied to focus on the messages being relayed by his taste buds. He simply downed the cold liquid without word or thought on the matter and returned the bowl to her.

Was she staying? Would she? Did he want her to? 

He watched her shift, turning around to grab something else. He caught the scent at once and knew whatever it was included rice. He snubbed the dish only to be reprimanded. 

"Oh come on! Just a little?"

He turned away.

She huffed. "I can't believe you're being so childish." 

She had better watch that tone, he thought, eyeing her carefully as she put the tray aside. 

"So How did you get here?" 

Apparently she was going to leave the food matter aside for the moment. He was thinking of his reply when the door slid open. They both turned surprised eyes to the doorway. 

"Oh, sorry to interrupt. Kagome there's a phone call for you; it's your Mom. I told her you were here." 

Kagome smiled weakly at Shippou. "Okay. I've got to get home now anyway. Um can I come see you tomorrow? Oh wait, tomorrow's not good. How about the day after? Hmm I'm sort of busy then too"

He looked up not liking what he was hearing. She would do other things before she came to him, unacceptable. "You will come tomorrow." 

She looked down at him, pausing a moment from tapping her foot. A habit he'd noticed in the last minute or so. One that annoyed him, he thought staring at the now still foot.

He glanced back up when she laughed softly. "Very well, tomorrow then."

That was easy, he thought wondering why she'd given in so quickly. He was left to wonder though as she turned promptly. "I've got to go now, but I'll be back tomorrow. Promise."

She left, and he listened as her footsteps scampered down the hall and down the stairs. He heard her voice drift up to him as she promised her mother she was coming straight home and then listened to her footsteps as they headed out the door and again, out of his life.

His caretaker. That's what she was, he realized suddenly. He'd been wondering lately, what he wanted her for and why he was so obsessed with her. Higurashi Kagome, his half-brother's wench, the guardian of the Shikon no tama, Kikyo's reincarnation and many other titles were hers. Yet the only one that mattered was the one he gave her – Sesshoumaru's caretaker. 

He frowned. He was making himself feel like some garden ornament to be cared for. As though he was somehow incapable of caring for himself and yet he was and he wasn't. He _wanted_ her for a caretaker. He wanted to be bathed in her warm, calming presence. He wanted to be fussed over and worried over and not by anyone. He wasn't looking to be the center of attention. 

He only wanted _her_ attention and the irrational _want _of her was near driving him crazy by escaping his logic. 

It was the only thing he and the kit had in common was their desire for her pleasing company. He sat back content to wait until the next day when he would be with her again. 

* * *

Kagome yawned, but was unable to sleep. Her mind was racing. Sesshoumaru. Alive and in her time again, alive and injured once more. She felt the familiar feelings returning; in these couple months she'd felt those old feelings of guilt and sorrow slip away. They wanted to creep back it seemed.

Why hadn't the wish worked? What had gone wrong? Was it too long a time period to effectively bind Sesshoumaru's memories? That just couldn't be. It enabled her to travel back and forth or... maybe that was an inadequate comparison? 

She sighed heavily dropping her head back onto her pillow. She couldn't sleep. She hated when she couldn't sleep. No one was awake, she felt alone. She had to be quiet not to wake anyone and so she couldn't really do anything.

Worst of all she was feeling restless. She had nothing to do and could think of nothing but him. Nothing but skipping out of the house and heading to where he was just so she could crawl into bed beside him and let his scent lull her to sleep. 

Could you go a time without someone not realizing how much you truly missed them until they were gone and suddenly back again? That's how she felt. She felt bereft and then overwhelmed with the need to see him. To touch and smell him near her, that she knew he was okay. Although she failed to know when it began to matter so much.

Nor did she care for deciphering her feelings on the matter. She wanted to make sure he was okay. Strangely enough, she wanted him to silently reassure her by simply being there. By simply being 'him'. 

She tossed and turned discontent finding unhappiness in one thing after another. Tomorrow, it seemed, could not come soon enough. She didn't even realize she was on the brink of sleep until she was jarred from it by a sound near the window. A darkened silhouette emerged in the darkness, but Kagome bit back a scream when something soft wrapped around her neck and across her mouth. Something furry.

It wasn't hurting her, nor was it wrapped tightly just enough to convey a silent message. 'Keep quiet'. 

So she complied. The figure approached in all of two seconds and was upon her. She felt the bed dip as a knee was brought up to rest on the mattress and then the blanket pulled back, being pulled out from the aforementioned knee. 

The blanket was slid back slowly and the movement made her feel woefully underdressed. She began to panic wondering if there was some rapist in her bedroom. 

Her mind was twirling, a jumble of thoughts and 'what-if' scenarios. What would she do? What could she do?

Before she could think whether or not she wanted to attempt a run she felt something suspiciously familiar creeping along her senses. Youki. She sucked in a sharp breath, almost getting a mouthful of fur as she straightened. Almost as two hands suddenly pressed down upon her shoulders, guiding her back down against her pillow, the body of the stranger following hers.

"Kagome..."

Her eyes widened in the darkness. Sesshoumaru? She wasn't dreaming this whole thing was she? She was tempted to pinch herself until she felt the points of nails against her skin as the fur was unwound from around her neck, sending a strangely delightful feeling down her spine as it brushed against her lips. 

"Sesshoumaru?" She spoke, daring to hope that's who it really was. 

Male, she realized as he settled fully beside her, the youki still tingling around her. Youkai male, she corrected. It *had* to be Sesshoumaru, plus the fur thing. She told herself all she had to do was reach out and touch him but she couldn't bring herself to lift her hands. 

Not, that is, until he leaned close, pulling her shoulder turning her to her side to face him in the darkness. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing emerged. She allowed herself silence as he pulled her closely, her head against his chest. She breathed in deeply and heard him do the same.

Sesshoumaru, she thought, allowing her eyes to drift close. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that the night that wouldn't end would now be chased away all too soon by the morning sun. 

. . . 

Logic be damned, he thought as he nuzzled close to the human in his grip. Why did he need justification? She was a sleep aid, if nothing else. What she was didn't matter. 

He clutched her closer, disturbing the now sleeping girl in his arms slightly. She'd surprised him by being awake. Her silence had surprised him when he normally would've expected a scream of 'pervert'. Her compliance pleased him; she folded against him softly, speaking his name uncertainly. Yet she must have been convinced as she melted so contentedly into his arms. She would not have done so were she not sure of her safety.

Safety, he thought briefly. When had humans begun to feel safe in his grip? He wondered if he was losing his touch and then just as quickly determined it did not matter. She, his caretaker, should feel safe. After all, did he not need her? In some twisted little way? 

He'd been unable to sleep in his own room. Suddenly everything about his own residence had irked him, and her lingering scent in his office had left him wanting to sleep on the floor. Unable however to stomach being found on his office floor he'd forced himself to endure the trip here. 

Getting in her window had been no easy task without his medication either, he thought somewhat irritable, but soothed by her surrounding him. He was, for now, content to just be. Forget everything and stave off the accusations and discoveries until dawn. 

He felt new suddenly. New, peaceful, whole... He felt like himself for the first time in a very long time and he wasn't about to let go of the girl that had brought him back the feeling.

* * *

Author's Note: You will notice this story has been continued under another name. That's because I've got "Breath in the Pages" posted in several places, and I didn't want to retract the 'oneshot' label. And if you didn't notice, you should have.


End file.
